the married life.

I think most people have a repertoire of jokes, stories or comical observations that they catalog and use whenever a suitable situation or conversation topic arises. I am no exception. I’ve recycled my same old jokes for years, in each circumstance basking in the laughter they trigger. Unfortunately, the passage of time has shown some of my favorite old jests to be ill suited or no longer as funny, applicable, or poignant as they once were. Therefore, with this post I officially announce the retirement of one of my classic situational jokes, the gist of which is elaborated below:

Within about ten minutes of being married I was already sick and tired of the oft repeated and marginally sincere question, “So, how’s the married life?” Soon, I graduated from offering a vague and positive response to a more perplexing and intentionally discomforting one. When someone would ask “So, how’s the married life?” I’d pause and gaze at my feet before replying in a most downtrodden though matter-of-fact tone “It was alright.” Without exception, my crafty response would send the asker into a fit of analysis: “Alright? Was?!” Feeling grossly unsure regarding my marital status and inconveniently uninformed of any tumultuousness that would’ve necessitated such a speedy dissolution, the asker would stand for a few long, pregnant moments of silence, searching for some yet evasive words with which to salvage the conversation. Feeling justified in my attempts to punish those who pose such hackneyed questions, I would offer no branch with which my comrade could pull himself from his conversational quicksand. Rather, I would soak in the moment, invigorated by the awkward silence I’d manufactured.

Godspeed little quip. You have served me well.