How to Win.

Because I’ve wanted to win friends and influence people as of late, I’ve been reading the old classic How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. He gives all sorts of helpful advice for people like me who want to either charm or manipulate everyone they come in contact with. I will admit, however, that the book, which was initially published in the 1920’s, does occasionally show its age. For instance, Carnegie devotes an entire chapter to the principle that “you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” Now, don’t get me wrong—it’s a great principle. When trying to create in others a desire to behave in accordance with our whims, kindness almost always proves a more effective agent than harshness. Yet in this, Carnegie shows just how out of touch his method truly is.

These days, if I want to catch me a throng of flies, I don’t reach for honey. I reach for a roll of fly tape. Fly tape is far more effective than honey. Its concentrated formula contains chemicals that are absolutely irresistible to flies. Intoxicated with the alluring aroma, the flies come aswarmin’, only to be trapped in the gooey adhesive. If catching the largest number of flies as thoroughly as possible is your goal, assuredly, fly tape, not honey, is the way to go.

So our new axiom that we can apply to human interaction is: “you can catch more flies with fly tape than with honey.” From this little logical exercise we glean one very practical application—when attempting to coerce another into doing your will, remember that deceptive enticement followed by entrapment is a more effective policy that kindness. If you want a lick of someone's ice cream cone, ask nicely—then push it in their face and take it. If you’d like a fellow classmate to give you a ride home after class, perhaps some amiable small talk followed by a swift kick in crotch would get the message across. What’s that—you fancy that old lady’s oxygen tank? Well by all means, help her halfway across the street and then rip it from her bony, feeble hands.

I’ve found this principle to be so effective that I’m devoting an entire chapter to it in my upcoming book How to Win. Period.