a brief note to reality television

Reality television, you are the bane of my existence. If it wasn’t for you, Family Guy and the various incarnations of Law and Order would utterly rule the universe of television programming, never absent, not for a single second. But no, you, reality television, with your empty promises of momentary fame and brief cases overflowing with prize money lure otherwise decent people into shoving as many maggots into their mouth in thirty seconds as possible.

Craftily, you’ve convinced us that no top models, national idols, dog groomers, chefs, or survivors can be crowned without heaps of melodrama, annoyingly prolonged pauses and text-in poles. Whatever happened to the job interview? What of the days when a person could attain a desired position or job on the grounds of experience, talent, and a fake list of references? “Hey Josh, would you do me a solid and forge my old boss’s signature? And can I put your cell phone as his office number?” That’s America. Not all this hubbub about who’s got talent and who’s the top whatever. I’m downright tired of it all. It almost makes me wish for the return of the late 90s quiz show era when Regis Philbin and his fluorescent-lit, futuristic-looking set ruled the primetime airways.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, whether or not my vote really means anything, reality television, I vote you off the island.