I disapprove of the habitual use of the emoticon “:)”. Not only is that makeshift smiley face so extremely cheesy as to occasionally induce dry heaving in the receiving party, but it’s also much too vague. Is he or she who types “:)” actually smiling? Or are they laughing? Or are they just experiencing generally pleasant feelings? And if so, which pleasant feelings in particular? Is “:)” a tool used to distinguish sarcasm from direct, unambiguous speech? Or is it just a light-hearted gesture? And what if, however unorthodox, I want to end a parenthetical statement with a colon? In that case, people will perceive a smiley face where no smiley face was ever intended to be.
So to maneuver myself and those with whom I communicate safely around the confusion prompted by “:)”, I’ve developed a batch of much more specific, telling, and useful emoticons. See:
<:)
Translation: I can’t respond right now. I’m at a birthday party.
: A
Translation: I’m eating candy corn while composing this message.
c):)
Translation: I’m wearing my cowboy hat while composing this message.
:{
Translation: I am wearing a fake handlebar mustache while composing this message.
: #
Translation: I’m smiling, but you can’t tell because I have braces.
:?(
Translation: I’m feeling insecure about my larger-than-normal nose.
--{:)
Translation: There’s a plunger stuck on my head and I can’t get it off. But don’t worry; I totally see the humor in the situation.
Feel free to implement these in your daily e-conversations.
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7 comments:
Seriously, do you even like me at all? You mock all of the things I do. Big bows, American Idol and now the text message smiley face.
I love reading your blog. You are very talented and gall darn hilarious. Keep um coming.
Okay something funny happened today. I called this lady about mobile pet grooming. She told me that she has a new puppy named Little Drummer Boy. She said that he howls when she sings that song to him. She asked if I wanted to hear. She proceeded by singing the whole Little Drummer Boy song with her dog howling in the background. No joke. I thought I was in The Twilight Zone. Needless to say, I am not having her groom Ben and Jerry.
":)" means everything you mentioned. :)
I am just glad that you've created so many "emoticons" that apply to me. It's about time. :?)
=:)
translation: i'm totally digging the fo-hawk.
:o-->(throw-up) This one means.."I'd love to chat, but I'm throwing up." -cj
i've been waiting (anticipating) the moment i get a plunger stuck on my head just so i can use that emoticon. it hasn't happened yet, but i'm sure my time is just around the corner.
anything involving wearing a fake handlebar mustache is good enough for me. I will use it, and overuse it.
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